


no one else but you

by chuuyaya



Category: FOG[电竞] - 漫漫何其多 | FOG[Diàn Jìng] - Màn Màn Hé Qí Duō
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional confessions, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates to Exes to Fake Lovers, shi luo goes from horny to conflicted in 0.5 seconds, yushi in suits, yushi thirsting at each other wearing suits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 21:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28999143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuuyaya/pseuds/chuuyaya
Summary: In Shi Luo’s defense, hiring a fake date to fuck with his father who was trying to use him to curry a favor with his grandfather sounded good when he was drunk and it was 2 AM.Finding the person he’s been avoiding for the past two years suddenly on the other side of your door, holding the hiring sign that Shi Luo put on social media when he was drunk off his ass made him rethink his life decisions.Fuck. He was going to kill Puppy for this.
Relationships: Shi Luo/Yu Sui (FOG)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	no one else but you

**Author's Note:**

> i'm trying to get back to writing so this is shittier than usual???? if you see awkwardly written sentences, forgive me???
> 
> also let's pretend there's no league for fog ok most of them are either in school or are game anchors for fog :D
> 
> also unbeta'd and unedited we die like sacred sword's entire management

**no one else but you**

*****

“Who’s demise are you plotting now?” Puppy asks, not even the tiniest bit afraid at the murderous expression and aura Shi Luo was giving off. “You look like you’re about to stab someone. Please don’t call me if you want to get bailed out of jail, Xiao Luo. I’ve got to study for my exams.”

“Shi Ge’s going to jail?” Wawa joins them, eyes full of curiosity. “Why?”

As usual, the only insane people who would approach Shi Luo when he was clearly in a bad mood were only these two. If it was in the past, Wawa would’ve treaded carefully, trying not to touch what pissed Shi Luo off. After being influenced by Puppy and his big mouth, Wawa doesn’t even have the hint of wariness, plainly curious as he looks at Shi Luo, trying to figure out what caused his mood this time. Shi Luo doesn’t know if he should be thankful for it or not.

“I’m not stabbing anybody. I just need a fucking drink.” Shi Luo murmurs, closing his eyes in irritation.

Just remembering the conversation he had with his father earlier is enough to make the dark aura that dissipated with Puppy and Wawa’s arrival gather around him again. It’s not like he was disappointed with his old man’s decision, disappointed would mean he expected anything from his old man—no, rather than disappointed, he’s _angry_. He’s angry that he’s being used as a chess piece again in order to gain his grandfather’s favor. Angry that he has to deal with this over and over again no matter how many years have passed by.

“Lessen down the murderous aura or you’d get escorted out for public disturbance.” Puppy suddenly pipes up from beside him, enjoying his lunch despite the cold atmosphere in the table due to Shi Luo’s anger. “Are you stressed out because of finals? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Like hell I am.” Shi Luo replies, rolling his eyes. “Dealing with finals would be far easier than whatever shit my father cooked up.”

“Oh,” Wawa frowns. “Again?”

“He doesn’t know when to fucking give up.” Shi Luo slumps on his chair, frustrated. “Keeps on dragging me to fight for the will as if I give a shit about him or any of them for that matter.”

“Who made our Luo luo be so outstanding that they can’t look away and ignore you?”

“Call me ‘our Luo luo’ one more time and it’s you I’m stabbing.” Shi Luo deadpans.

“Wawa,” Puppy whines, clinging to the person beside him without any shred of shame. “This is the true attitude of your Shi Ge. Just look at how he easily threatens my life like that. That’s his true colors, okay? Don’t be fooled anymore.”

“But Shi Ge’s really nice?” Wawa raises a brow, smiling at Puppy, one that said _you-should’ve-known-better-than-to-tease-him-when-he’s-in-a-bad-mood-you-absolutely-deserve-that._

Shi Luo snorts, refusing to feel guilty at Puppy’s wounded noise. It’s not like he can tell his problems when they were out in the open, _that_ , and Shi Luo was never one to tell others his problems. If he could, he would rather solve it by himself than drag others with him. It’s just that this time, his father had touched the landmine.

Shi Luo closes his eyes, gently thumbs his wrist before he sighs heavily. It’s been a while since he thought of _him_ . The talk with his father had managed to open up those thoughts again, right when Shi Luo thought he could slowly forget it, bury it deep enough until it can no longer resurface, bury _him_ deep enough that Shi Luo might be able to forget. It’s been years since they last saw each other but the mere mention of _soulmates_ has Shi Luo tethering on the edge, unable to forget but not wanting to remember.

Puppy hums, probably sensing how dire Shi Luo’s problem was. “Alright. Let’s go drink tonight. I’ll sneak in some alcohol in your dorm room.”

Shi Luo raises a brow. “If you get caught, don’t drag me with you.”

“Xiao Luo, the way you don’t have confidence in me is breaking my heart.”

“Do you even have one?”

“Touchè.” Puppy laughs. “Just leave the door open, alright? I don’t have exams tomorrow so I might as well get drunk before I get wrecked by my major subjects.”

Shi Luo smirks. “Who told you to go and take up marketing when you’re shit at calculating things?”

“We can’t all be like you, Mr. I-can-score-130-points-in-math-test-without-preparation.” Puppy sighs. “I’m helping you from the goodness of my heart and this is how you repay me.”

“I can’t drink since the Captain would be able to smell the alcohol but I’ll come!” Wawa enthusiastically joins in. “Though I have to leave before curfew I’d gladly listen to your problems, Shi Ge!”

“How did our black-hearted Xiao Luo manage to keep a lamb like you? Is it Stockholm syndrome? Blackmailed? Brainwashed?”

Wawa tilts his head, looking innocent but the words that left his mouth were nothing but. “Shi Ge’s not you though?”

Puppy drops his head on the table, whining about finding new friends who would treat him better, making the corner of Shi Luo’s lips tick up in amusement.

It takes a while for him to realize that both Wawa and Puppy were trying to distract him from his problems. It makes Shi Luo shake his head but he gladly welcomes the distraction anyway.

*

Though he was distracted while they were together, there’s nothing stopping him from thinking about it when he’s alone back in his dorm room. Due to certain circumstances, he was the only one living in the room which made it easier and convenient for Shi Luo to dismantle the smoke detector and drown himself in cigarettes as he thinks about the events two years ago. Playing right now would be counterproductive. Instead of distracting himself, Shi Luo would be able to remember _him_ so he settles on leaning on the windowsill, letting the smell of cigarettes burn through his lungs.

He looks at his wrist, covered by a black band wide enough to hide anything underneath. He can't help but touch the back of his ear, caressing it lightly. For years he tried to forget about it, the marks that littered across his skin, three marks that he used to look at in marvel but now brings nothing more than a plethora of memories he would rather forget.

How many years has it been since Shi Luo had seen the marks on his skin?

How many years has it been since he actively thought of him?

How many years has it been since _he_ left?

Once upon a time, Shi Luo would look at his mark like it was the only thing that mattered, painted across his pale wrist like a grounding reminder of _his_ presence in Shi Luo’s life and back then, Shi Luo welcomed it, unravelled the hot feeling surging from his chest whenever he thinks of that mark as _his._

Once upon a time, Shi Luo felt like those marks were his saving grace.

 _Too bad._ Shi Luo thinks, closing his eyes as he marvels on the taste of nicotine on his tongue. _In the end, he chose to leave like everybody else._

Shi Luo shakes his head before his gaze drops down to the black band on his wrist, shielding the thing Shi Luo didn’t want to see. The events of two years ago was something Shi Luo didn’t like to think about, especially not when it reminded him of a brief period of happiness. Fleeting and yet it stays embedded in Shi Luo’s mind, like a mark that’s tattooed in his soul.

Shi Luo stares at his wrist. Hesitating, he thumbs the edge of the band thinking _: how many years has it been?_

He takes a deep breath.

In.

Out.

Just as he removes the black band, he hears a knock on his door interrupting his thoughts. Shoving down the urge to make another mistake, Shi Luo opens the door.

Puppy’s grinning face welcomes him, holding up a bottle of canned coca cola. Wawa is right behind him, smiling at Shi Luo.

Raising a brow and burying his earlier thoughts, he opens the door wider for them to come in. “When I said I needed a drink, I meant fucking alcohol, Puppy.”

“You can’t expect me to blatantly walk through the corridors bringing a canned beer, do you?” Puppy rolls his eyes, giving Shi Luo a can. “Drink before you get the urge to stab people again.”

“You say that like it’s a regular thing.” Shi Luo deadpans. The smell of beer assaults his nose when he takes the can. “Not bad.”

“Thank you.” Puppy raises his own can, clunks it with Shi Luo’s before gulping it down.

“You…” Wawa shakes his head in amusement. “How did you even put the beer in the can without spilling it?”

Puppy grins, winking at Wawa. “That’s a trade secret.” He takes in another can, putting it on the table. “Now enough about me, what got our Luo luo in such a bad mood this afternoon?”

Shi Luo frowns. “My father,” He takes a deep breath before drowning all his anger in the beer. “Wants me to meet someone on a blind date.”

“Oh?”

“Someone influential and high up.” Shi Luo almost crushes the can in his hand, just remembering how his father talked to him earlier. “He asked if I found my soulmate yet.”

The room immediately falls into silence. Though he has never said it out loud, both Wawa and Puppy weren’t dumb. They could see the way Shi Luo flinches whenever they talk about soulmates or the way Shi Luo avoids the thing entirely. It became an unspoken agreement between them not to touch Shi Luo’s landmine.

“Shi Ge, I’ve always been curious…” Wawa trails off, eyes dropping down to Shi Luo’s hands. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to!”

“I’ve met them.” Shi Luo answers, already knowing what Wawa wanted to ask. “I’ve already met my soulmate.”

Soulmate huh. They say your soulmates were the people you could trust for life because they would never betray you, you are a part of them and they are of you. How ironic. Soulmates meant shit for Shi Luo, especially after what he saw with his parents and… what he experienced with _him_. 

“Then that mark…” Wawa glances at him hesitantly, as if he was poking a dragon who was about to explode. “Is that his?”

Shi Luo looks down on his wrist, attention immediately focusing on the eye-catching mark on his wrist. It shines in contrast to his pale skin, bright yellow with hints of green; the very first mark which associated Shi Luo with him. It sits at the very top of his wrist, the bright colors were like paintings carefully crafted on his skin.

Because of the interruption earlier, he wasn’t able to place the band back. Now, Shi Luo stares at his mark, feeling a little lost. How many years has it been since he had last seen _his_ mark on Shi Luo’s skin? It’s as bright as Shi Luo remembers, eye-catching too, just like how _he_ used to be.

Despite the fact that Shi Luo hasn’t seen it for two years, he could still vividly remember what the mark looked like. The lines that intersect, the colors that brushed together, the image it forms.

Wawa tilts his head to get a better look. Shi Luo lets him. “A drink?”

“It's lemon tea.” Puppy suddenly says, brows raising in surprise. It seems like he’s thinking of something but one can never know with Puppy. Sometimes even Shi Luo can’t tell what Puppy was thinking. “Your only mark?”

“I've got three.” Shi Luo says, grabbing another can of beer and drinking it all in one go. The bitter tang of the beer rests on Shi Luo's tongue, the warmth on his stomach spreading and the clearness of his mind slowly diminishing. Perhaps he was drunk or perhaps he was just too tired of keeping it all in for the past two years, unable to tell anyone and unable to move on from it. “One on the back of my ear, a white wing.”

“Wait,” Puppy cuts off, eyes wide in realization. “Is that why you suddenly bleached your hair white? It wasn't because you were feeling rebellious?”

“A little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” Shi Luo replies. “The white wing against my dark hair was too eye-catching. It didn’t hurt that my father was losing his shit over it.”

“So what are you going to do now, Shi Ge?” Wawa asks, frowning, going back to Shi Luo’s problem. “Your father won’t ever let you go about this.”

“Who the fuck knows.” Shi Luo groans, closing his eyes, wanting nothing more than to drown everything out. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could forget all about his family or his father or even the memories that were evoked earlier. If he tried hard enough, maybe he could fool himself into believing that he was happy like this.

Puppy hums. Shi Luo could see the way his face was starting to go red making Shi Luo snort. “Lightweight.”

“I’m still not drunk,” Puppy rolls his eyes, grabbing another can of beer. “I need more drinks than that to forget my heartaches.”

“What heartaches?”

“Wawa, take pity on me and don’t ask okay? My heart is very fragile.”

“Fragile, my ass.” Shi Luo snorts. “He’s probably heartbroken over his exams scores in his entrepreneurship class.”

“We don’t talk about that.” Puppy groans. “It’s not my fault I don’t understand shit about proposals and financial backing stuff. We’re not here to talk about my problems anyway.”

“Do you miss them?”

“Who?”

Puppy uses his mouth to point at the mark on Shi Luo’s wrist. Shi Luo didn’t even notice he started rubbing his thumb on his wrist again, as if the mark itself was a comfort for Shi Luo which is… ironic, to say at least.

Miss them?

“I always believed I was unlucky,” Shi Luo closes his eyes, remembering his mother’s back, his father’s manipulation, the disgust in his relatives’ faces. “But when I was with him, he didn’t make me feel like it.”

Shi Luo opens his eyes, finding Puppy lost in thought. Taking a sip, he adds, “The happiest moments of my life was when I was with him.”

Shi Luo takes another drink.

If Shi Luo was in his normal mood, he would’ve controlled his alcohol consumption. After all, his mouth was rather talkative and honest when drunk and there were things he didn’t want anyone to know. But today, the onslaught of memories that he experienced was enough to let go of such wariness and he takes in can after can, until his surroundings become obscure and he could no longer think straight.

Seconds drag on to minutes and minutes to hours. Shi Luo can’t even remember what time they started drinking. All he knew was that slowly, bit by bit, he was getting dizzier but the pain that accompanied him when he got reminded of the past was no longer there. For now, anyway. Shi Luo knows when he wakes up, it comes rushing back in like a tide unable to stay away from the shore.

“Xiao Luo, how about this?” Puppy, the lightweight that he is, was even more drunk than Shi Luo was. “Why don’t you ask someone to pretend to be your partner so you can throw your dad off?”

“Brilliant idea,” Shi Luo says, rather sarcastically to which Puppy doesn’t even seem to sense. “Why don’t I just go and introduce you then? See how you fend for yourself in my wolf-like family?”

“No no, your family would never believe I was your lover with how you treat me.” Puppy frowns. “Let Wawa do it. Wawa? Where’s Wawa?”

“He left hours ago dumbass. He got called by Old Gu.” Shi Luo snickers. “You were too drunk to notice.”

“I was? Whatever.” Puppy thumps his head on the table, groaning in pain. “The fuck did I do that for? Anyway, my idea still stands.”

“No.” Shi Luo shakes his head. “My family would eat Wawa alive. I’d rather toss you to the wolves than let him meet my family.”

“How about this then?” Puppy grabs his phone, squinting at the light it emits. He taps on a couple of things before showing it to Shi Luo. “Hire someone to be your fake date.”

“What?”

“Look,” Puppy waves his phone in front of Shi Luo’s face and Shi Luo resists the urge to deck him. How could he read when Puppy kept on doing that? Just as he was about to grab Puppy’s hand to prevent him from moving, Puppy takes back his hand. “There’s this site where you can hire people to do work in exchange for money. Like hooker business but with less naked bodies.”

“How the fuck did you even find that?”

Puppy shrugs. “Let’s post something. Anyway, you won’t lose anything if you do and if someone responds, you can introduce them to your father as your partner. Isn’t it a win-win situation?”

Shi Luo frowns.

“C’mon, it will be fun.” Puppy snickers, giving Shi Luo his phone. “And you could fool your family and give a grand _fuck you_ to your father.”

If Shi Luo was sober, there was no way he was going to agree to Puppy’s proposal. If he was a bit more sane, he would’ve known that this would bring another series of headaches. Unfortunately for him, he was too drunk to think properly and the mere thought of giving a grand _fuck you_ to his father was tempting enough for Shi Luo to actually write down a hiring ad in the website.

“Put a heart, for you know, aesthetics.” Puppy pipes up from beside him. He clicks on the sticker, putting the blue heart on the sides before scrolling through the sticker panel again. “And a puppy!”

“Why?”

“Because I helped you and I should get my fair share of credit. You can’t just post things without credit, Luo luo. That’s illegal on the internet.”

If only he wasn’t so spiteful, maybe he could’ve avoided the disaster that was about to occur.

But Shi Luo was Shi Luo and using such a suicidal method to ruin his father was exactly Shi Luo’s way of doing things.

*

Truth to be told, Shi Luo doesn’t even remember much of what happened then. He couldn’t remember filing a hiring ad nor could he remember what he placed on the sign. He woke up with a massive headache and his body feeling like it went through hell and back. There was no way for him to mind whatever the fuck he did when he was drunk.

He would’ve successfully forgotten about it too.

If not for the fact that weeks later, right as his father was hounding his ass about meeting the person he set Shi Luo up for a blind date, someone was suddenly knocking on his door. It gave him a way out of talking with his father and Shi Luo could count the number of people who would willingly knock on his door so without thinking much, he drops the call and opens the door.

Which proves to be a big mistake.

Shi Luo stares at the person in front of him, eyes wide and jaw slacked in surprise. Before he can even think about it, he closes the door to the person’s face, breathing in heavily. 

Nope. There was no way. 

Maybe he was too stressed out that he’s starting to have hallucinations? After all, there was no way the person he’s been avoiding for two years would suddenly turn up right in front of him.

Shi Luo was unlucky but he wasn’t _that_ unlucky.

Or, not yet anyway.

Shi Luo takes a deep breath, leaning on the doorway. There would be no way for _him_ to suddenly be here. There was no reason for _him_ to suddenly appear in front of Shi Luo and there was no way he was looking for Shi Luo. Not when he was the one who left. Not when it’s been two years since they last talked.

Maybe he got lost? Or was he visiting someone else?

Gritting his teeth, Shi Luo tries to keep himself rational. Maybe it was all this talk about soulmates and his father poking at his landmine that made him imagine that _he_ was here?

Laughing to himself, Shi Luo shakes his head. He could formulate reason after reason but even before, he was never able to clearly read Yu Sui. One predictable thing Yu Sui did was followed up with something unpredictable that made Shi Luo feel like his world was suddenly turned upside down. If he really was here for some unknown reason, there was only one thing Shi Luo could do: ask.

Which right now, proved to be as daunting as jumping off a building.

After taking deep breaths and calming his erratic mind, Shi Luo once again opens the door.

As if trying to laugh at his face, the hallucination of the person Shi Luo had avoided for two years was still right in front of him. Shi Luo stares at him, his usually calm mind going haywire. Those two years have changed him too much but Shi Luo would always be able to recognize him no matter what. His hair was longer, pushing past his shoulders. He was thinner too and taller. Gone the teenager who was grinning and smiling all day long. In front of him was a man who wore an impassive expression as he looked at Shi Luo.

Yu Sui may have changed a lot in the past two years but it only takes a split second for Shi Luo to recognize him.

“What,” Shi Luo’s surprised voice comes out steady. Cold. Like he was talking to a stranger. “are you doing here?”

In lieu of an answer, Yu Sui shows Shi Luo his phone. On it was a screenshot of a website, a picture on the very center which Shi Luo has a vague impression of. There’s a large HIRING: FAKE BOYFRIEND printed in bold red color. Underneath it was the address for his dorm and even his dorm room number. There was a crooked blue heart on the corner and even discussed the amount of money paid for each meeting. Shi Luo feels his head throb. While he couldn’t clearly remember the events, he had a vague impression of typing such things because of Puppy’s persuasion. Puppy even placed the crooked heart and a small dog on the side with large eyes. The ad felt like it was made by an elementary student trying to learn how to do basic editing.

_Fuck._

In Shi Luo’s defense, hiring a fake date to fuck with his father who was trying to use him to curry a favor with his grandfather sounded good when he was drunk and it was 2 AM. 

If he was sober and less spiteful, this entire unplanned reunion wouldn’t have happened. Finding the person he’s been avoiding for the past two years suddenly on the other side of your door, holding a sign that Shi Luo put on social media when he was drunk off his ass made him rethink his life decisions.

“Fuck,” Shi Luo mutters, closing his eyes as he gives in to the disaster he’s about to face. “I’m going to fucking kill Puppy for this.”

Yu Sui doesn’t even blink at Shi Luo’s sudden murder talk, merely staring at Shi Luo. “Is the offer still open?”

Shi Luo should say _no,_ close his door and pretend this never happened. He should stand his ground and avoid Yu Sui like he had done for the past two years. He should—

He should close the door and forget about Yu Sui.

He should move on.

He should—

“Shi Luo?”

Shi Luo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He should make him _leave_ , cut off whatever is happening right now before Shi Luo gets hurt again. Yet for some reason, his heart feels unwilling and the part that’s loosely holding on to Yu Sui tightens, even after so many years have passed. What Shi Luo should do is make Yu Sui leave, what comes out of his mouth are the words, “Come in.”

Shi Luo takes another deep breath, grabbing another cigarette stick and leaning on the windowsill. He watches as Yu Sui glances at his room, momentarily stopping at the computer on his desk before he continues and stops to stare at Shi Luo.

Shi Luo tries to pretend Yu Sui isn’t in the same room as him, trying to burn the tension out with the cigarette. After being subjected to minutes of nothing but silence, Shi Luo turns to look at Yu Sui, getting startled when he sees Yu Sui already staring at him.

Trying to calm the erratic beating of his heart, Shi Luo frowns. “Why?”

“Why what?”

Shi Luo tries to read Yu Sui’s thoughts using his expression but it was hidden and no matter how hard Shi Luo looked, he could never guess what Yu Sui was thinking. “You don’t need the money, Yu Shen.”

The familiar nickname rolls out of Shi Luo’s tongue naturally that even he was inwardly surprised. He sees Yu Sui’s gaze flicker for a second before it goes away and if not for the fact that Shi Luo knew his habits well enough, he might not be able to see the change in Yu Sui’s expression.

Shi Luo tells himself to _stop_ before he could get himself hurt.

Again.

“I…” Yu Sui licks his lips, voice dry and hoarse. “I do.”

“What?”

Yu Sui smiles wryly. “Need the money.”

 _Bullshit._ Did Yu Sui forget Shi Luo knew that at a young age he already had millions in his pockets? Did he forget that Shi Luo was there when he signed that broadcasting contract where he would earn half a million per month?

“I don’t think the money I offer would be any use to you considering your wealth,” Shi Luo smiles back mockingly. “Or did you forget that I know exactly how much you earned in the past, Yu Shen?”

There was no way Yu Sui was here for the money. Then why? If it wasn’t for money then why else would Yu Sui barge in his dorm room holding up the sign he put when he was drunk off his ass, trying to deceive Shi Luo that he needed the money? 

Shi Luo narrows his eyes at Yu Sui. There were no other benefits for Yu Sui and he would only lose by being dragged to whatever Shi Luo was planning. Yu Sui wasn’t a saint who would just drop in whenever someone needed help.

“Back then,” Yu Sui suddenly says, interrupting Shi Luo’s thoughts. There’s something indescribable about the way he looks at Shi Luo and Shi Luo tries to ignore the warmth that floods through him as he meets Yu Sui’s gaze. “I left hastily.”

Shi Luo lowers his gaze down to the ground.

“The promises I made back then…” Yu Sui continues and Shi Luo closes his eyes, unable to stop thinking about the times in the past. “I’m sorry I broke each one.”

Shi Luo grits his teeth. “Yu Sui, do you really want to turn up old accounts? Is that what you’re here for?”

“No. I really do need the money.”

Shi Luo knows a lie when he hears one. Of all things Yu Sui needed, money was the least of his problems.

Then why?

“Luo luo…”

Shi Luo takes a deep drag, taking in the familiar taste of nicotine, trying to burn the images that flashed in his mind. This time, the hole in his chest grows larger with every memory he tried to bury deep within him, with every call of his name, with every smile and gentleness Yu Sui used to give him in the past. All because of that stupid childhood nickname.

Yu Sui in that jacket who smiled at Shi Luo and touched his hair with no particular reason at all.

Yu Sui who talked and talked and teased Shi Luo until Shi Luo pouted and ignored him, making Yu Sui laugh.

Yu Sui who would put out his cigarette every time Shi Luo was in the vicinity.

In actuality, their time together was short. Like a summer dream but in those months, Shi Luo had felt more warm than he ever did in his whole life.

Shi Luo had never been so conflicted in his life. If given time, Shi Luo could organize himself and sort out his thoughts but he couldn’t do that with Yu Sui in the vicinity, not when all he does is bring memories of the past that he doesn’t want to remember.

Shi Luo can’t _bear_ to look at him without the pain of the happy memories flashing through his mind.

“Leave.”

Yu Sui nods. He stands up, not even saying another word as he walks toward the door. Shi Luo couldn’t help but look at that tall straight back, proud and strong, as if he’s trying to carry all the world’s problems on his shoulders.

When Yu Sui reaches for the doorknob, Shi Luo doesn’t know what possessed him. They could end it here and he could pretend he never saw Yu Sui. Once Yu Sui closes that door, he could pretend that none of this ever happened. Instead of relief, he feels a sense of emptiness at this thought.

“The offer,” Shi Luo says before he can even stop himself. “I’ll think about it.”

Yu Sui tilts his head, meeting his gaze across the room. He looks at Shi Luo for a moment before he smiles.

Shi Luo averts his gaze, inhaling the deep scent of the cigarette.

When Yu Sui closes the door, Shi Luo lets out the most explosive curses in all languages he knows.

Shi Luo was still Shi Luo, after all. If given time, he could sort of his thoughts and rank his priorities.

After three hours of sorting his thoughts, he sends a message to Puppy, the ultimate traitor in his life: _Give me his number._

The fucking tattletale had the nerve to pretend, replying to Shi Luo’s message with a _Who?_

 _You know who,_ is what Shi Luo said and before Puppy can reply, he sends him another message and hopes that the threatening aura gets sent across the mobile phone. _And you better start running you traitor._

_xiao luo T______T_

_And what the fuck do you mean by dating?_

_Well ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)... Technically, you guys never really did break up._

_I'm blocking your ass._

*

Of course as long as Puppy knew, almost the entire world would know. 

Shi Luo’s phone was almost blowing up with messages. Those who knew him asked and even those who don’t upped their courage to ask him.

It’s been years since he interacted with people he knew from the past, those he met because of him and those who knew Shi Luo because of the hundreds of live streams Yu Sui used to do with Shi Luo in it.

Wawa’s been blowing up his phone with hundreds of messages, ranging from _YOU LET PUPPY KNOW BEFORE ME I'M HURT SHI-GE_ to _i asked puppy just now and oh my god you're dating yu shen. yu sui. greatest medic of all time. holy shit_ and _WAIT I KNEW THE SAME TIME AS THE WHOLE INTERNET BECAUSE OF PUPPY I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS SHI GE (´；ω；｀)._

There’s five from Puppy, all different kinds of apologies ranging from kowtowing to trying to bribe Shi Luo with food. 

There’s another one from Gu Gan, who he used to double row with, _heard you're dating someone. i’m happy for you, luo. introduce them to me next time we meet._

Another from Xiao Jun, who he would consider as his friend, _puppy said you’re dating someone? :o is yu sui back then?_

In response, Shi Luo sends out a smiling face to Puppy and wonders if everyone he knew was watching Puppy’s live broadcast because if not, how the fuck did they know?

Shi Luo ignores all the messages and replays Puppy’s broadcast instead. He isn’t in his dorm room or anywhere in the university but rather in a private room with Chen Huo (another pain in the ass who was _unfortunately_ Yu Sui’s friend), Gu Gan, Angel Sword (Shi Luo never got around to asking his name and he also didn’t care much for it) and Yu Sui. They were playing truth or dare like some fucking high schoolers while Puppy was broadcasting the whole thing. Shi Luo’s attention is immediately caught by Yu Sui, who was sitting on the end of the sofa, stuck staring at his phone.

Angel Sword dared Chen Huo to sing—which in Shi Luo’s opinion was enough to make his eardrums pop and it was Yu Sui’s turn. Yu Sui, who was still staring at his phone like it would magically turn into gold the next second and he didn’t want to look away. Someone in the barrage asked, _why is Yu Shen so focused on his phone?_

Puppy, upon seeing this, laughs. “He’s probably waiting for a text from a certain someone. Poor Yu Shen.”

The barrage exploded and asked who but Puppy, this bastard merely kept quiet, smiling mischievously. Yu Sui picked truth to which Chen Huo, this dense idiot asked in distaste, “Why are you staring intensely at your phone like you’re waiting for your girlfriend to call?”

Yu Sui lazily turns his head. “Waiting for someone.”

“Oh?” Chen Huo raises his brows. “Who?”

Yu Sui turns back to his phone. “You’ve already asked your question.”

Although, Chen Huo was dissatisfied, they went on with the game. Puppy was still happily interacting with the barrage. Just as he was about to answer another question, the message from Shi Luo suddenly popped up on his screen.

Like a dam that’s waiting to burst, the entire barrage was suddenly asking about Shi Luo. He had stopped during live broadcasts years ago and stopped appearing in any of his friend’s broadcasts. When he retreated, people kept on asking about him but he was stubborn on not coming back.

_[Xiao Luo. . . IS THAT MY SHI SHEN]_

_[where is my shi zai [crying] [crying] didn't he used to go with you guys why isn't he there anymore?]_

_[What happened to my shi zai? Why did he abruptly leave? TAT]_

_[bring my shi shen back]_

_[bring my shi shen back +1]_

_[bring my shi shen back +2 ]_

_[bring my shi shen back +ID number]_

Upon seeing this, Puppy waves his hand, laughing. He replies to Shi Luo with a _who,_ before he answers the barrage. “He’s good. Shi Luo, that whelp, is already dating someone so there’s nothing for you guys to worry about. He’s eating well and living life well.”

When he heard Puppy, Yu Sui’s head turned to the camera. It takes a moment for Puppy to remember what he said before he curses out loud. Before the camera cuts off, Shi Luo sees Yu Sui smile slightly.

Shi Luo stops. Rewinds the video.

Yu Sui smiles.

Shi Luo was about to rewind the video again when there’s suddenly a message from an unknown number. Though it might be an unknown number, it was easy for Shi Luo to immediately guess who it was judging from his message, _i have the sudden urge to tape puppy’s mouth shut._

It’s an olive branch, an opening Shi Luo takes. _Welcome to the club._

 _How have you lived without having the urge to maim him,_ is Yu Sui’s reply closely followed by, _Talk about it?_

_Come to the dorms._

For Shi Luo, Yu Sui was the worst but also the best candidate for what he had planned. They needed to sell a ruse and having Yu Sui, who already knew what Shi Luo was like, as his fake boyfriend would be better than some stranger who knows nothing about Shi Luo’s family. But the thing was, he could fool his family but he couldn’t fool himself. There were still things that they needed to resolve but both of them weren’t one for talking nor would they want to dig up a painful past.

Sighing, Shi Luo was about to light another cigarette to take off the tension he had built up only to find out he had none left. Usually, he would only smoke once a day but after meeting Yu Sui again…

Thankfully, the convenience store was close to the back gate of the dorm. He picks out his favorite cigarette, ignores the look the cashier gives him and lights it immediately as he walks back to the university.

“Xiao Luo?”

Shi Luo stops.

Shi Luo believed that he was always unlucky. It was like his whole life was in order to prove Murphy’s Law. If anything could go wrong, it definitely will. If there was even one percent possibility that his day would go from worse to worst then it _definitely_ will.

Exhibit A.

Shi Luo sighs, turns around to meet the person he least wanted to see. He almost crushes the cigarette box in his hand. Just a few more meters and he could’ve entered the university. Just a few more meters and he could’ve been safe. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you,” His father smiles. _Hypocrite._ “Xiao Luo, stop with your rebelliousness, okay? Your cousin told me you were already dating someone, how come your dad is the last one to know?”

“Oh? You still remember that you’re my father?” Shi Luo mocks.

Ke Chunjie was someone who was restrained especially when they were in public. Even if no one was around, he didn’t dare shout at Shi Luo or demand things like he usually would. Shi Luo smiles mockingly, _what a two-faced bastard._

“Xiao Luo, don’t be like this. I admit I haven’t been the most attentive but you…” Ke Chunjie smiles, trying to coax Shi Luo. “I care for your future, okay? I want you not to encounter any hardships. Mr. Hu’s daughter seems to be very interested in you.”

“Too bad I’m not interested in her.”

“Shi Luo, I’m doing this for your future! Stop being—”

Before Ke Chunjie can finish, Shi Luo feels something warm on his shoulders. As if thrown back in time, Shi Luo visibly relaxes at the scent of Yu Sui covering him. The move was done on instinct, as if deep down he knew that he was safe with Yu Sui. Ke Chunjie narrows his eyes but Shi Luo pays him no mind. He feels an arm around his shoulders and without thinking about it, Shi Luo leaned towards Yu Sui.

“You’re going out without a jacket in this weather?”

“Mm.” Shi Luo absentmindedly thumbs the hem of the jacket. “Went to buy cigarettes.”

“Go upstairs before you catch a cold.”

Ke Chunjie looks at him then at Yu Sui. He could probably remember who Yu Sui was and guess their relationship when he saw how Shi Luo turned and leaned on Yu Sui, relaxing on his hold.

“It’s you.” Ke Chunjie probably couldn’t stand getting ignored anymore. He grits his teeth, looking at Yu Sui with vehemence. “I’m still talking to my _son._ It’s for his own future. His own good.”

Shi Luo mentally celebrated at seeing Ke Chunjie fume.

“Shi Luo can decide his future for himself.” Yu Sui deadpans. “And forcing him to date someone he doesn’t want to doesn’t seem to be for his own good but for yours.”

Shi Luo buries his head on his jacket to smother his laughter.

“I don’t think you have the right to intervene.”

“I don’t think you have the right to decide his future for him.”

Shi Luo was about to die trying his hardest to hold his laughter back. He lets out a cough, smirking at his father’s red face.

“It’s your grandfather’s birthday two months from now. You’re required to be there.” Ke Chunjie says coldly, backing off for now. “No outsiders allowed.”

“Okay,” Shi Luo nods and like the obedient son that he is, he says, “My boyfriend isn’t an outsider anyway.”

Shi Luo raises a brow, another mocking smile directed at Ke Chunjie who looks at him coldly before leaving. 

The laughter Shi Luo’s been trying to hold back escapes his lips, clutching at the jacket so it doesn’t fall down. He glances at Yu Sui with a happy smile on his face and sees Yu Sui’s helpless look before playfully pinching him on the arm, making Shi Luo laugh again.

He’s always in a good mood whenever his father isn’t to the point where he doesn’t even mind the way this feels like two years ago. Even back then, Shi Luo would try numerous ways to piss his father off and sometimes Yu Sui was his accidental partner-in-crime.

“C’mon,” Shi Luo says happily. “Let’s talk upstairs.”

Yu Sui doesn’t ask for his jacket back and Shi Luo doesn’t mind it on him either. It stays on his shoulders, even as they enter Shi Luo’s room and he opens the windowsill to smoke.

“Yu Sui,” Shi Luo smiles, a calculating gleam on his eyes. “Do you have a suit by any chance?”

“No. My suit doesn’t fit anymore.” Yu Sui smiles back, already knowing what Shi Luo was thinking of. “Do you plan on giving your father a heart attack?”

Shi Luo tilts his head. He knows it’s a bad idea and he might go down with his family but Shi Luo would do it as long as it meant his father would suffer with him. Smirking, he looks at Yu Sui. “I might get disowned and you might get acquitted with me. Still doing it?”

Yu Sui smirks back. “Who are you trying to scare?”

Maybe it was the fact that Shi Luo was giddy with happiness at the mere thought of embarrassing his father or if it was something else, he wasn’t willing to unpack it right now. His mind was still in turmoil—if what he was doing was digging pits for himself or not but right now, he could ignore the past they used to share to focus on the current problem.

And just like that, they decided with tacit understanding that Yu Sui was going to play Shi Luo’s fake boyfriend.

“My father said Ke Hao told him. He won’t care for me otherwise.” Shi Luo says, nonchalantly. “How did Ke Hao even get that information?”

Yu Sui shrugs. “Puppy _slipped_ when he was broadcasting or so he says. Your name was in the list of hot searches for that night.”

Shi Luo gives him a questioning look. “Why?”

Yu Sui laughs. “You underestimate the amount of people missing and wishing for you to come back.”

Shi Luo hums noncommittally. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Yu Sui but it’s been years since he left. He doesn’t expect anyone to remember him still. He had been resolute to leave back then but—

With thoughts of the past, Shi Luo can’t help but caress his wrist. Although the black band hid the mark, Shi Luo could still remember it vividly, where the colors burst, where the lines meet, where the lemon tea was positioned at. Even after so many years, Shi Luo feels like he would never be able to forget.

“You still haven’t gotten rid of that habit.” Yu Sui murmurs, just loud enough for Shi Luo to hear.

Shi Luo turns to him, brow rising in surprise. “What?”

“Nothing,” Yu Sui smiles helplessly and shakes his head. “When are we going to get suits?”

“Are you not even going to ask how much I’ll pay you?” Shi Luo asks. Both of them knew that Yu Sui had only given money as an excuse.

“I’ll take what you can give me, Shi Shen.”

Life has taken so much from Shi Luo—his mother, his father, the chance to grow up with a complete and happy family, his extended parents, a normal childhood, friends and _this_ —Yu Sui’s words, his posture and the way he looks at Shi Luo makes Shi Luo pause. It was only Yu Sui, who dared to say these words, like an oath he was willing to make.

Right now, they’re both treading on a thin line, both of them unwilling to bring up the past but both of them knowing they need to, if they ever want to make this whole fake dating thing successful yet no one would take that step and they’re both stuck in a standstill.

“Right now then,” Shi Luo says instead, avoiding the topic. He would think about it sooner or later but as long as he could postpone it, Shi Luo would do so. “Although, I don’t particularly know where to go.”

“I know a tailor shop nearby.” Yu Sui says, following Shi Luo’s lead in avoiding their past. “We’re both too tall for on-the-rack suits.”

Shi Luo nods. He grabs his wallet before seeing his light orange hoodie on the corner of his eye. Frowning, he looks outside the window and before he could second-guess himself, he stuffs it in his small bag, together with his wallet and keys before going out to follow Yu Sui.

It wasn’t extremely cold out but Shi Luo knows that Yu Sui felt uncomfortable especially when it was cold, probably due to his stomach. Thankfully, the walk between the university and the tailor was quite short and they’re immediately welcomed with the faint scent of fabric and warmth all over.

Yu Sui takes the initiative to talk to the person at the counter. Shi Luo takes this moment to take in the changes Yu Sui had after two years. Compared to the past, he was taller than before and Shi Luo barely reached his ears. Even though he was covered, Shi Luo knew Yu Sui had gotten thinner and the mere thought of it made him frown. Did no one care for him for the past two years?

Yu Sui turns to look at him, a curious look thrown, probably wondering why Shi Luo was frowning when he was still in a happy mood earlier. Like clockwork, Yu Sui comes over, still looking at Shi Luo like he’s trying to gauge what happened. “Something wrong?”

Shi Luo stares at him. Yu Sui’s hair had gotten longer to the point where it reaches past his shoulders and Shi Luo tamps down the impulse to run his fingers over them to check if they’re as soft as before. _Objectively_ , he knew Yu Sui was handsome. Thousands of girls in his live broadcasting room was enough proof for that. He wasn’t the kind of handsome that you’d stop and stare at but the kind where you’d remember him even after a long time.

Long brown hair that contrasts his pale skin. Long eyelashes and eyes that would make you feel like he’s trying to stare at your soul.

It should be surprising, how even after all the changes and after all the years have passed, Shi Luo still finds his appearance pleasing to the eye—but it’s not because Shi Luo had always felt that Yu Sui, whether it was before or now, would still be able to take people’s breath away.

“No. It’s nothing.” Shi Luo shakes his head, averting his gaze.

He couldn’t quite say that after two years, Yu Sui had looked more handsome than before now, could he?

Perhaps Yu Sui had already talked to them beforehand. The [suit](https://images.express.com/is/image/expressfashion/0039_04352604_0904_f001?cache=on&wid=960&fmt=jpeg&qlt=85,1&resmode=sharp2&op_usm=1,1,5,0&defaultImage=Photo-Coming-Soon) they gave Shi Luo was a fitted black vest. Peak lapels, two button front with a Welt chest pocket paired up with a gray turtleneck and fitted black pants. The overall image makes him look formal with a touch side of rebelliousness that Shi Luo would pick for himself.

When he gets out of the fitting room, he sees Yu Sui talking to the lady earlier. Yu Sui slides his gaze towards him and stares. He stares at Shi Luo as he nods and talks to the lady but his gaze never moves away from Shi Luo’s. 

Shi Luo looks back for a moment before he averts his gaze, unable to keep staring at Yu Sui. He could feel Yu Sui’s heavy gaze, even if he wasn’t looking back, like Yu Sui was trying to burn through his skin and look directly into the depths of his soul with his eyes. As if he was scalded, Shi Luo immediately follows someone who takes him to get his suit fitted to his measurements, as to avoid Yu Sui. There’s something about the way Yu Sui stares at him that makes him flush and the warmth pools at his stomach, like a sudden tornado out of nowhere, catching Shi Luo off guard.

It’s a whole luggage to unpack but Shi Luo neither has the time nor the courage to do it.

Once it was Yu Sui’s turn, he let out a sigh of relief. It’s _hard,_ trying to pretend he wasn’t completely affected by the weight of Yu Sui’s stare.

“How much is it?” Shi Luo asks, absentmindedly as he stares at the fitting room Yu Sui had entered.

The lady smiles mysteriously. “2,974 yuan.”

“For both?” Shi Luo raises both his brows in surprise. Even if Yu Sui did know someone here, the price was too cheap for two high quality suits. 

The lady laughs. “For one,” Then like earlier, she smiles mysteriously, eyes staring at the fitting room Yu Sui was in. “Your partner paid for your suit.”

Shi Luo was about to deny her statement when his brain latched on the final words. _Your suit_ , she said. Yu Sui paid for his suit and now he’s paying for Yu Sui’s…

What’s with this situation?!

More than being called Yu Sui’s partner, this certain slag man move makes Shi Luo flush more.

Hurriedly, he pays for Yu Sui’s suit, ignoring the knowing smiles the lady throws his way. He changes back into his old shirt and hesitates for two seconds before draping Yu Sui’s jacket on his shoulders again.

For the past week, he had seen Yu Sui more than he ever did during the past two years. If Shi Luo would say he isn’t affected, that would be a straight-up lie.

Even back then, his feelings for Yu Sui had been complicated—at first he thought it was mere gratitude. Nobody else had given him the warmth and concern that Yu Sui had given. All his life, the little warmth that he felt was all from Yu Sui. He thought that would be it and everything would end with gratitude but it _didn’t_ and maybe that was Shi Luo’s first mistake. It would’ve been better if it was mere gratitude but after Shi Luo found out that Yu Sui preferred lemon tea over coffee or how he doesn’t stay up late at night but he would accompany Shi Luo if he couldn’t sleep or how Yu Sui couldn’t handle cold foods but would always make time for Shi Luo if he wanted to eat something cold because of the heat or how he hugged Shi Luo without hesitation or how Shi Luo wanted nothing more than to spend time with him than anybody else—Shi Luo knew these feelings weren’t merely gratitude.

Just when he started to accept his feelings—that he preferred to be with Yu Sui than anyone else, that he grew jealous of how wide Yu Sui’s world was but Shi Luo only had him, that Yu Sui’s presence was enough to make him feel content, that talking with Yu Sui even when he was teasing Shi Luo was _still_ able to make Shi Luo happy—he found out about it. The marks. The lemon tea. Yu Sui’s love for his freedom.

Yu Sui and him were soulmates.

If it were someone else, they’d probably celebrate at the thought of the person they like being their soulmate but Shi Luo was Shi Luo.

Soulmates for Shi Luo was a touchy thing. He had seen the downfall of his parents—from the unhappiness on their faces to the fights that escalated out of nowhere. Even when his mother was littered with his father’s soulmarks across her skin, Shi Luo had never seen them happy with each other. They might have been predestined by fate but staying together as a couple was their _choice_ and they chose to leave each other behind. Even when they were soulmates, they were unhappy with each other so when Shi Luo figured out they weren’t _soulmates,_ that these marks on his skin was an indication of the things that Yu Sui loved, the first thing on his mind was _destruction_ ; that the thing between him and Yu Sui, the feelings that accumulated over time would end up in mutual destruction.

Shi Luo closes his eyes, caressing the space between his brows, suddenly remembering what Yu Sui said when Shi Luo had told him all of it—his apprehension, his fears, his past. He remembers Yu Sui’s words perfectly well, the scene still vivid in his mind, like it happened just moments ago.

In that rare moment of Shi Luo’s vulnerability, Yu Sui listened. He didn’t interrupt nor throw a pity look at what Shi Luo had experienced. What he did do was to stare at Shi Luo, thumbing the mark on his wrist.

_“If your parents’ choice was to leave each other then I—”_

Yu Sui comes out of the fitting room and Shi Luo loses his thought. He’s wearing the exact same thing as Shi Luo did moments ago, except Yu Sui’s was pure white and the turtleneck underneath was black, contrasting Yu Sui’s pale skin. His lean stature made him look even better with the turtleneck fitting him just right. If side-by-side no one would be able to say that Yu Sui and Shi Luo were _merely_ good friends.

Yu Sui lifts his arms up to make way for the person measuring and adjusting his suit. In this light, he looks younger and lighter and when he laughs, Shi Luo could remember the spring breeze that blew back then, when Yu Sui had cradled his face so softly, like he was a treasure in his hands.

_“—choose to stay with you.”_

*

When Yu Sui was done with his fitting, Shi Luo was absentmindedly staring at the ground. It’s been years since he last thought of Yu Sui like this and Shi Luo thought that by now, he would’ve buried those thoughts deep within him, deep enough to be unreachable.

_In the end…_

Shi Luo feels someone nudge on his foot. Blinking out of his reverie, he sees Yu Sui’s 10,000 yuan shoes nudging his shoes back and forth like it’s a game making Shi Luo smile slightly in response.

These little things… these little habits Yu Sui has… Why does it make him smile so much?

Shi Luo looks up, wiping all traces of his conflicted thoughts out of his expression. He hopes his expression is calm even when he felt everything was in turmoil. “Done?”

“Mm.” Yu Sui nods. “Hungry?”

“Kind of.” Shi Luo doesn’t miss the way Yu Sui stares at the jacket on his shoulders but both of them made no move to address it. He lets Yu Sui stare, meeting his gaze head-on. “Wontons?”

Yu Sui smiles. “Whatever you want.”

It’s incredibly stupid. How those words were immediately able to calm his erratic thoughts, how those words spoken from Yu Sui’s mouth felt like a promise and how Shi Luo feels the familiar rush of warmth pooling in his stomach and the loud thumping of his heart against his chest.

His voice sounded incredibly gentle and _soft_ and Shi Luo had always been so _weak_ against Yu Sui.

Even before they got into a relationship.

Even when they got into a relationship.

Even after Yu Sui left and all that was left of him were the broken shards of their relationship.

Shi Luo was incredibly, stupidly, and unsurprisingly still so weak for Yu Sui.

The moment they exit the store, the cold breeze instantly welcomes both of them. Though winter still hasn’t come, one could feel it coming through the drop of temperature.

Shi Luo turns to Yu Sui, who looks unperturbed with the cold weather but Shi Luo also knows that Yu Sui would always try to hide everything instinctively. Tamping down the urge to frown at this certain habit of his, Shi Luo takes his hoodie he brought and hands it to him.

“It’s thicker,” is what Shi Luo says to Yu Sui’s questioning gaze.

Yu Sui’s surprise melts into a smile. He accepts the hoodie, fingers brushing slightly on Shi Luo’s hand making Shi Luo feel warm all over. Thankfully, the hoodie he brought along was one of his loosest ones and it fits Yu Sui perfectly, more than it ever did on Shi Luo.

Shi Luo tries to ignore the fact that he was wearing Yu Sui’s jacket and Yu Sui was wearing his.

He tries to ignore it before his face explodes in how red he is. Judging from the slight chuckle that Yu Sui’s unable to stop, Shi Luo thinks it might all be for naught.

They don’t speak for the entire time but the warmth on Shi Luo’s shoulder from Yu Sui’s jacket is enough.

The shop is as warm as Shi Luo remembers. It’s been awhile since he last went here and after the shitshow with his father, eating wontons was the last thing on his mind. On instinct, Shi Luo goes to the counter and leaves Yu Sui to find a table.

When he turns to find him, Shi Luo suddenly feels like he’s been thrown back two years ago, when Yu Sui would drag him outside for breakfast after knowing he was subjected to a year without eating breakfast. Like this, Shi Luo orders for both of them—already familiar with Yu Sui’s eating habits—while Yu Sui looks for a table. Shi Luo can’t help but stare at him. His memories unearthing like it was merely waiting for the right person to come back.

Shi Luo snaps out of his reverie when he feels his phone vibrating suddenly in his pockets. It’s a message from Puppy, a simple: you with yu sui?

_Why?_

His manager asked if he’d like to cancel today’s broadcast. Apparently, he’s unreachable by phone.

Broadcast? Shi Luo frowns. “Did you have a broadcast scheduled today?”

Yu Sui doesn’t even hide the fact that he canceled his broadcast, without saying anything to anybody, to come and talk to Shi Luo. “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you—” Shi Luo shakes his head, cutting off his words. He wants to ask Yu Sui but what right does he have? They aren’t like back then and Yu Sui won’t indulge his unreasonable questions anymore.

He hears Yu Sui take a breath, as if he’s trying to keep his composure in check. “Would you mind then?”

“Mind what?”

“If I opened a live broadcast right now.”

Shi Luo pauses. For the past two years, after he finished up his contract and left, he had never shown his face to any of his friend’s live broadcasts. Not Puppy’s and not Wawa’s either. They both knew to turn off the camera whenever Shi Luo was around and it didn’t help that Shi Luo rarely talked when one of them had a live broadcast. Appearing now though and especially in Yu Sui’s…

As he always does, Yu Sui waits for Shi Luo’s decision. He sits there, staring at Shi Luo like he was merely asking about the weather. He looks calm and unperturbed and Shi Luo would’ve believed his composure if not for the fact that Yu Sui was tapping the table methodically. Two years might’ve passed but Yu Sui’s habits are ingrained in Shi Luo’s brain.

Unable to stop himself from smiling, Shi Luo nods. “Okay.”

Yu Sui’s brows raise momentarily before he nods. Shi Luo sees him turn on his phone and immediately sees the dozens of notifications filtering on screen. Ignoring all of it, he clicks on the livestreaming platform and goes live.

Shi Luo can’t see the things written but he could see the barrage immediately filling up.

“Why was I late?” There’s a small smile on Yu Sui’s face, as if he’s sharing a joke only he could hear. “I was out in a hurry and I forgot to tell the manager. I need to deduct at least four hours today so let’s chat.”

“It was unplanned,” Yu Sui looks at Shi Luo across the table, a small smile on his lips. “Was afraid the person I’m meeting might suddenly change his mind.”

“I’m not going to.” Shi Luo says in response, loud enough to be heard across the table. Smirking, he places his chin against his palm, already knowing the bomb that he just detonated.

Yu Sui looks at him. He stares at Shi Luo like he’s trying to guess Shi Luo’s next move, like everything that Shi Luo does was a mystery waiting to be unfolded and Yu Sui was a willing audience.

“Yes,” Yu Sui says, eyes glancing at the barrage before he looks over at Shi Luo again, the smile on his face soft. It’s an expression Shi Luo is familiar with, ones he used to see whenever he was with Yu Sui. “It’s your Shi Shen who’s with me.”

Shi Luo stares at him right back. There’s that warmth unfurling in his gut again, with every second he looks at Yu Sui. It sinks _, sinks_ , sinks to Shi Luo’s bones, to his very core, to the darkest depths of his soul reminding him that this warmth was something only Yu Sui can give.

It should be a terrifying prospect, to have someone carve themselves right down your very soul but instead of trepidation, it brings comfort to Shi Luo. For the past nineteen years, he never had anything to claim as his own—except for the feelings that grew and blossomed, there was nothing else. So instead of fear, he treats it as if it’s a hidden treasure, rare and priceless and not for others to see.

The feelings that suddenly came up to the surface feels overwhelming. Like the water rushing down, finally able to break free. This kind of warmth, this contentment, this happiness—all of it, he had felt these same kind of choking emotions for Yu Sui two years ago and… he feels it for him now.

_Oh._

As Shi Luo looks down on the wonton soup, savoring the warmth that spreads to his stomach, he realizes… he still wasn’t over Yu Sui.

In the end, Shi Luo realizes, _I’m in love with him._

 _No,_ that would be incorrect. _Did I ever fall out of love in the first place?_

*

The realization doesn’t spark any surprise. It sits there, on Shi Luo’s heart, just waiting to be acknowledged and _oh_ , Shi Luo _does_. He acknowledges the warm feeling that Yu Sui gives whenever he’s around. He acknowledges the feeling of contentment even when they’re merely just in each other’s presence. He acknowledges—

That he’s been in love with Yu Sui two years ago, two years later and the years in between.

Shi Luo can’t help but smile helplessly, sneaking a look towards Yu Sui. He’s still broadcasting and this time, it’s also because Shi Luo told him not to stop, in order to fulfill his broadcasting quota. Shi Luo wouldn’t want to be the reason Yu Sui has to pay for the contract fees.

As he looks at him, Shi Luo can’t help but lament. Two years later, he’s less quiet than he was but still as bright and as dazzling as ever that Shi Luo can’t bear to look away.

Yu Sui turns to look at him, startling Shi Luo for a second. _Trying_ his hardest to remain calm, as if he wasn’t just caught sneaking a glance, Shi Luo raises a brow. “What?”

If Yu Sui sees through his whole facade, he doesn’t show it. “Everyone misses you a lot.”

Shi Luo tilts his head, confusion evident in his features. Yu Sui never says things just for the sake of saying them and Shi Luo’s always been proficient in reading the lines, especially when it comes to Yu Sui.

“Oh,” Shi Luo finally realizes Yu Sui wants him to show his face on the broadcast. Although he spoke earlier confirming that he was with Yu Sui, it was a different thing showing his face in the camera when there wasn’t a shadow of him seen in the last two years. It’s a whole new thing altogether to show his face in Yu Sui’s live broadcast when he refused all these years. And Shi Luo—the possessiveness he thought he’d outgrown all these years comes back rearing into his head and the mere thought of being on Yu Sui’s broadcast, for the whole world to see sends shivers down to Shi Luo’s spine. “You won’t mind?”

The look Yu Sui gives him is enough to make the warmth pooling in his gut to spread, rising up until Shi Luo feels like he’s drowning at the influx of emotions that Yu Sui brings. “Not if it’s you.”

Shi Luo nods, ignoring the loud thumping of his heart. Walking closer to Yu Sui, he peeks at the screen. Like a bomb waiting to explode, the whole barrage is suddenly filled with Shi Luo’s name and numerous incoherent sentences.

Yu Sui turns the camera more to Shi Luo’s side but half of his face could be seen on the screen. Squinting, Shi Luo could feel a headache coming at the speed the barrage was scrolling through.

Yu Sui laughs. “Calm down. Shi Luo can’t see what you guys are asking.”

_[AH AH AH SLAG MAN YU THAT VOICE OF YOURS]_

_[the first time i hear yu shen laugh again after two years and it’s because of my shi luo TAT]_

_[Shi Shen, when are you going back to doing live broadcasts QAQ]_

“When…” Shi Luo trails off. “Not sure. Too busy at university to do that.”

_[What’s going on? Why are you with Yu Shen?]_

“Why am I with Yu Sui? We went out to buy something.”

Shi Luo ignores the dozen comments asking for what they were buying together. He even turns a blind eye to the ones asking if they bought an apartment together though his eyebrows twitch at the implications of that. He was about to answer another question when an eye-catching announcement suddenly stops him. Puppy’s name flashing across the screen, sending two meteor showers before asking: _I see the favoritism here, Xiao Luo. You even showed your face in Yu Sui’s broadcast but you won’t even talk when I’m doing mine. Was I not worth it? Was I not special enough?_

Shi Luo rolls his eyes. “No, you aren’t. What the fuck are you doing here instead of studying for your exam?”

_[I’m multitasking.]_

“Oh,” Shi Luo nods. “Good luck failing your exam.”

Shi Luo _feels_ rather than hears Yu Sui’s laughter. He’s close, close enough that Shi Luo could feel his warm breath on his ear and the vibrations on his chest when he laughs. He’s so _close_ that Shi Luo can’t help but flush and he feels hot all over.

Averting his gaze from the camera, he tries to hide the flush on his cheeks and neck, donning on an impassive expression. “I’ll answer one more question before I’ll go.”

He ignores Puppy wailing loudly on the barrage and finds another question instead.

_[Will we be seeing more of you from now on?! Don’t leave again, Shi Zai TAT]_

Before Shi Luo could answer, he felt Yu Sui’s hand softly touching the back of his nape, the caress as soft as the touch of the wind. If not for the fact that Shi Luo saw Yu Sui’s arm move on the screen, he might’ve thought he was hallucinating it. 

Yu Sui smiles at the camera, touching the ends of Shi Luo’s hair naturally and leisurely, like he didn’t find anything wrong with it and Shi Luo wasn’t as red as the national flag. 

Fuck. This slag man’s moves are even more deadly than two years ago.

Stammering, Shi Luo keeps his gaze down, unable to keep his expression in check. “Yeah. You’ll probably see me again.”

_[Where? Which live broadcast so I can squat?]_

_[Does Shi Zai think he’s subtle]_

_[HAHAHAHAHHA my little shi luo still blushing so easily]_

_[Slag Man Yu, when will you be this gentle to your fans]_

Shi Luo ignores the dozens of comments teasing him. He quickly walks away, feeling like his whole body was on fire.

He hears Yu Sui say goodbye to the broadcast, making Shi Luo stop. “I thought you need four more hours today?”

With a smile hanging on his lips, Yu Sui catches up to Shi Luo. “Why? Are you going to help me?”

Shi Luo frowns. If nothing else, Shi Luo felt guilty about taking Yu Sui’s time. He wouldn’t want to be the reason Yu Sui had to pay the contract fees. But if Shi Luo were to help, that meant playing FOG in a live broadcast and—

Not even Wawa or Puppy knows he plays FOG again.

He still has his medic account but playing medic in front of Yu Sui was like a newbie trying to show off in front of the Olympic champion. Shi Luo would just be making a fool of himself.

Before Shi Luo can think it through, he feels a warm hand pressing against his back, snapping Shi Luo out of his thoughts. Tilting his head, Shi Luo meets Yu Sui’s gaze, the smile on his face not wavering one bit at Shi Luo’s silence. “University students should go up and study. Puppy told me you have exams coming up.”

“That fucking tattletale,” Shi Luo murmurs. Shi Luo can’t help but regret it a bit. If he said yes just now— “I…”

“After your exams,” Yu Sui suddenly says. “I’ll come pick you up.”

“Huh?”

Yu Sui smiles at him. His hands linger on the hair on his nape before he tucks in his hand on Shi Luo’s hoodie, like the touch earlier didn’t make Shi Luo’s heart hammer against his chest. “I’ll come to bring you home.”

* * *

“Shi Ge,” Wawa whines, slumping on the table, clearly tired. He has dark circles under his eyes and he looks worn out. “I need five pints of ice cream to cheer me up.”

“Are you trying to get cavities?” Shi Luo absentmindedly replies, twirling the pen around his fingers.

“I need to nurse my broken heart,” Wawa sighs. “Why does Math have to be a general subject! I feel so dizzy just looking at the formulas. Shi Ge, accompany me to ice cream.”

“Mm.”

“Shi Ge, lend me your brain too, even for just one course.” Wawa whines. “Just answer my math finals.”

Shi Luo hums absentmindedly. What did Yu Sui mean back then? Why would he bring Shi Luo to his home?

Does he also remember the words he said back then?

If it were someone else, they’d be fooled but Wawa had known Shi Luo for years now and he could see the absentminded look on Shi Luo’s eyes and the repetitive movement of his hands, as if he was physically there but his mind was somewhere else.

Wawa frowns, worry flashing across his face. “What’s wrong, Shi Ge? Is it your father again?”

Shi Luo shakes his head. “Haven’t heard a word from him ever since—”

Ever Since Yu Sui told him off. His thoughts come circling back to Yu Sui, as it does for the past few days.

“Shi Ge?”

Shi Luo shakes his head. He flicks Wawa on the forehead. “Don’t you have class? Ice cream can wait till later.”

“Come with me, Shi Ge.” Wawa whines.

“I’ll buy you your five pints of ice cream.” Shi Luo says, pinching Wawa’s nose and laughing when Wawa makes a miserable face.

Realizing what Shi Luo said, his expression turns completely different, a bright sunny smile on his face. “I’ll count on that, Shi Ge.”

Even if Shi Luo was distracted with thoughts of Yu Sui, he was still a school tyrant after all. Skimming through his notes, he glares at the dozens of formulas in front of him, along with notable names that bring headaches to Shi Luo. All his exams were scheduled for this week and it was enough to make Shi Luo wonder why he even went to university in the first place.

Grabbing his phone, he hovers over his contacts. Because of the sudden exposure in Yu Sui’s broadcast, the people he had forgotten were suddenly springing up left and right, asking about the truth. He bypasses Puppy’s name, Gu Gan, Angel Sword, Wawa, Xiao Jun…

His hands stop at the familiar characters of Yu Sui’s name. It’s been two weeks since they’ve talked to each other but that doesn’t mean Shi Luo was free of Yu Sui’s presence. He’s been turning Yu Sui’s words over and over again. _I’ll bring you home_ , he said. Those words echo in Shi Luo’s mind, especially when he stares at Yu Sui’s name in his phone.

Before he could end up regretting it, Shi Luo clicks on Yu Sui’s name, sending a _Save me_ before turning off his phone hastily and _trying_ to turn back to his notes.

He didn’t expect Yu Sui would reply seconds later with a simple question mark.

Shi Luo sends a picture of his notes all over the table. Due to the library being too quiet, the sound of the shutter was loud enough that several heads turned to Shi Luo.

_Did you already eat?_

_oh. forgot. i’ll eat later._

_aren’t you busy?_

Shi Luo waits for a few seconds but Yu Sui’s reply doesn’t come. Shrugging, he pockets his phone and turns back to study. He couldn’t help but think of the seventeen year old Shi Luo who would undoubtedly pester Yu Sui. Sometimes, he wondered why Yu Sui liked him back then. This kind of immaturity…

Shi Luo shakes his head. Right now, even if their status has reduced into—whatever this is—Shi Luo shouldn’t be so unreasonable anymore. He grew up, after all. Two years of it.

As he was about to fully focus on his notes, his phone vibrates. Thinking of Yu Sui, he immediately grabs his phone out of his pockets, unlocking it at record speed.

It’s a message from Puppy, asking Shi Luo if he wanted to eat.

Frowning, Shi Luo throws his phone on the table. _Dumbass._ Didn’t you just say you were going to act maturely?!

Shi Luo turns back to his notes again, determined to read through it this time. As he was about to read through the dynamics of rotational motion, his phone vibrates again, grabbing Shi Luo’s attention.

Shi Luo frowns and turns back to his notes. _Torque is the turning effectiveness of the force and because F is perpendicular—_ What if this time it’s Yu Sui? What if—no, if it’s Yu Sui then it’s Yu Sui. Shi Luo shakes his head, dispelling the thoughts. He has to stay focused on his studies. _—to r so the torque is simply_ —

Before Shi Luo can stop himself, he checks out the message on his phone. This time, it _really_ is from Yu Sui but the message itself made Shi Luo confused.

_Come out._

_?_

_You’re at the library aren't you? I’m outside._

Faster than he could think of regretting his actions, Shi Luo places his things on his bag without a second thought, pocketing his phone and almost running outside.

Yu Sui’s leaning on the flower beds on the side, a plastic bag on his side as he fiddles with his phone.

Frowning, Shi Luo removes his jacket, throwing it to Yu Sui who catches it by surprise. “What are you doing dressed lightly in this weather?”

Yu Sui smiles, puts on Shi Luo’s jacket without much complaint and even looking satisfied as he points at the plastic next to him. “Bought you food.”

“Huh?”

“Shi Luo,” Yu Sui pats the space beside him. Like a child that needs to be placated, he tells Shi Luo, “Has anyone ever told you that you need food in order to function?”

Shi Luo snorts. “Clearly you haven’t seen how students are during finals. Food is the least of the problem.”

“Hard?”

Shi Luo hums, opening the food Yu Sui brought. It makes him freeze inwardly, staring at the familiar set which he used to love. He has avoided that store now, after Yu Sui went away, too scared of the memories, too scared of the aunt at the counter asking him about Yu Sui and not knowing what to answer.

“No,” Shi Luo replies after a moment, savoring the familiar taste on his tongue. “It’s not hard— _for me_. Just a little tiring.”

Yu Sui laughed and Shi Luo couldn’t help but relish the sound. Shi Luo thinks he’s getting sappy—thinking that Yu Sui’s presence right beside him is enough to make him feel content.

To his surprise, Yu Sui suddenly stretches out his arm to which Shi Luo instinctively avoids.

“Your family won’t ever believe it if you keep avoiding my touch like this.”

Before Yu Sui could retract his hand back, Shi Luo leaned back, completely relaxing against Yu Sui. Yu Sui touches his nape, gently massaging, sending shivers down Shi Luo’s spine.

“I didn’t mean to,” Shi Luo mutters, feeling his eyelids getting droopy. He doesn’t know why but he suddenly feels sleepy. “Not used to it.”

His childhood was a shit-show of fake concern and disguised disgust. No one wanted to touch him and those who did are people Shi Luo wouldn’t want to be near him. He receives an occasional back pat from Puppy or a tug from Wawa but they would never dare touch such a sensitive part. For the past few years, no one has ever touched Shi Luo this gently.

Due to his groggy state and the relaxing massage, Shi Luo feels his consciousness slipping away by the second.

He doesn’t know if he had dreamt it or if he was still awake but he remembers hearing Yu Sui whisper in his ear. “I’m here now.”

_(What they don’t know is that someone took their picture, catapulting them to the top spot in the campus gossip forums._

_When Shi Luo finds out after Puppy sending him the link with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) accompanying it, he clicks on the photo and feels his face flush at the gentleness in Yu Sui’s gaze as he stares down on Shi Luo’s sleeping figure, still massaging his nape._

_If he saves it and makes it his wallpaper, it’s no one’s business but his own.)_

*

The end to Shi Luo’s suffering is a bit anticlimactic. After his last exam, Shi Luo pushes down all thoughts of university. He doesn’t feel burdened by the upcoming results of the exams at all.

There’s a new message from Puppy, a mere location. Shi Luo’s thankful he knows Puppy enough to decode that it meant the place for the celebration that he most likely forced on everyone else. There’s also one from Wawa, congratulating him for finishing up his exams and coming out alive.

Shi Luo changes into his black jacket and white shirt, grabbing his cap before going to the location Puppy sent. It’s one of those bars with private rooms, small looking on the outside but lively and large when you get in. A server directs him to the room Puppy reserved at and he doesn’t expect to see so many familiar faces once he enters.

“Xiao Luo! You’re finally here!”

Shi Luo frowns, looks at Puppy from head to toe. “Are you already drunk?”

“I’m not. I’m not,” Puppy waves his hand, slinging his other arm across Shi Luo’s shoulders. “I’m just extremely happy.”

“You’re extremely drunk too,” _Unfortunately,_ it’s also someone Shi Luo is very familiar with. Chen Huo raises his glass, smirking. “Congrats, little whelp.”

Shi Luo throws him a look. Chen Huo grins. “Yeah yeah, sorry _Shi Ge._ ”

“That sounds disgusting coming from your mouth.”

“Aiya,” Chen Huo shakes his head. “Who taught this little whelp to talk back to his elders?”

“You’re only two years older than me, fucker.”

“You used to call Yu Sui ‘Ge’ before. Why don’t you also call me _Ge?_ ”

Puppy laughs, slumping on the space next to Chen Huo, patting his shoulder with eyes full of pity. “We feel sorry for Chen Huo.”

“Are they always like that?” Shi Luo hears Wawa ask, voice slightly trembling as if a fight just broke out. “They won’t fight here, will they?”

“If they do, Chen Huo’s gonna leave this night with a wounded pride.” Gu Gan replies, smiling. “It’s how they are. Don’t mind these villains, you’ll get tainted.”

“Hey, Old Gu! We heard that!”

Shi Luo ignores the chaos, eyes falling to the person who was beside Gu Gan. Yu Sui’s already staring at him, mirth dancing in his eyes. He looks down at the space beside him and Shi Luo immediately gets the clue, sitting down beside Yu Sui.

Shi Luo grabs a beer from the table. “How many hours has it been?”

“Only two.” Yu Sui replies, pocketing his phone. “He’s been whining over the math portion of his exams.”

Even if it’s been years since they last saw each other, the atmosphere in the room was quite harmonious and warm. Shi Luo hasn’t seen half of the people here in years but he listens—listens to how they are, listens to what they’re currently doing and what they’re planning. He makes a mental note of supporting them, except for Chen Huo.

Shi Luo takes another sip of his beer as Yu Sui turns his head. He bends down slightly, lips brushing slightly against Shi Luo’s earlobe. “Do you want to come with me after this?”

Shi Luo feels like all his brain functions had shut down and all he could think about is how close Yu Sui was and how warm his body was against Shi Luo’s. “Huh?”

“I did promise you, didn’t I?” Yu Sui whispers and Shi Luo could feel his fingers playing the hair near his nape again. “After finals, I’ll bring you home.”

The words Yu Sui uttered were ambiguous and it makes Shi Luo flush. He’s been thinking about those words, trying to see what Yu Sui meant but Shi Luo could never get a full-read on Yu Sui and his intentions.

“Why?”

He feels Yu Sui smile slightly yet he doesn’t move away from Shi Luo. “I promised you two years ago, didn’t I? I’m just a little late, Luo luo.”

Shi Luo closes his eyes, feeling a slight tinge of pain at the familiar nickname before it gets replaced with the rapid beating of his heart, the emotions flooding his chest and the warmth spreading all over his body.

He remembers.

He _remembers._

In his mind, Shi Luo saw the nineteen year old Yu Sui, smiling at him as he rubs his head with the gentleness only for Shi Luo. “Luo luo, if you hate your house now… I’ll buy an apartment then.”

“For what?”

The smile on Yu Sui’s face melts into fondness, the gentle eyes that Shi Luo would never forget. “So you’ll have somewhere you can call home.”

“Okay,” Shi Luo mutters, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. He turns his head slightly, nose hitting Yu Sui’s jaw. The position looks intimate, _too intimate_ but Shi Luo doesn’t care.

Yu Sui remembered.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.”

The reassuring squeeze on his nape, firm yet gentle is enough for Shi Luo to feel it for the entire night.

Thankfully, someone had the mind to confiscate Puppy’s phone or the entire thing would’ve been recorded for his live broadcast audience to feed on.

After Puppy and Chen Huo was too drunk to move, they all decided to call it a day. Gu Gan would bring Puppy back to his house while it was up to Wawa to bring Chen Huo back. Yu Sui, this longtime friend of theirs, didn’t even move a muscle for his friends.

“C’mon,” He whispers to Shi Luo, once they’ve sent their friends off. “I drove over.”

Yu Sui’s car, to Shi Luo’s surprise, was a sleek black Mazda. He wasn’t an expert on cars but Shi Luo remembered that this car costs a fortune. The ride back was quiet. Once in awhile, Shi Luo couldn’t help but turn his head to look at Yu Sui. He has never seen him drive before but every time Yu Sui shows a side to Shi Luo, he feels mesmerized, even if it was as mundane as driving.

Shi Luo knows Yu Sui knows he’s looking but he doesn’t say anything and lets Shi Luo take a look but his lips quirk up in a smile. The ride back feels familiar and if it wasn’t for the large familiar building of his university, then Shi Luo wouldn’t have guessed Yu Sui lived close to him.

The apartment was medium-sized. Three doors which Shi Luo thinks is the bedroom and a study. One kitchen, a big living room and a dining room. Unlike what Shi Luo thought, the place wasn’t as cluttered and there were only a few things.

To Shi Luo’s surprise, there’s a bookshelf on the corner with books related to mathematics. His jacket lies on Yu Sui’s couch along with several CD’s that Shi Luo doesn’t recognize. The walls were painted with light blue, light enough that one would mistake it for white. There was a huge television and several personal items on the cabinet. There’s also a video game console on the side.

As Shi Luo looks around, he suddenly realizes.

The sofa. The tables and chairs in the dining room. Even the kitchen.

None of it was for one person only.

Shi Luo stands near the bookshelf, his eyes flicking across the covers one after the other. The titles for it are familiar—it’s all books Shi Luo have read before and books Shi Luo is using for his course. These books are the books Shi Luo used to talk about, fascinated by the different kind of theories in each book.

The sofa is the same brand Shi Luo wanted, when he was prattling off to Yu Sui on what kind of sofa he should have so that his back won’t hurt when he falls asleep accidentally.

If Shi Luo were to open one door right now, even without looking at it, he _knows_ what’s inside.

All of this—

“Shi Luo?” Yu Sui suddenly calls, breaking Shi Luo out of his thoughts.

Shi Luo grits his teeth and tries to keep his emotions in check. Yet he couldn’t help but look at Yu Sui with a complicated gaze. “Yu Sui… when…” He takes a deep breath and _plunges._ “When did you buy this?”

Yu Sui’s taken aback by the question. He looks at Shi Luo for a few moments before he smiles helplessly, combing his hand through his hair. “I really can’t hide anything from you.”

“When?!”

Yu Sui takes a step forward, forward, _forward_ until he’s right in front of Shi Luo and Shi Luo could see the complicated emotions in his eyes. Until Shi Luo could see nothing but himself reflected in Yu Sui’s eyes.

“Two years ago,” Yu Sui whispers. “Bought it as your birthday gift.”

“It’s close to your dream school and I could drive you and fetch you back everyday.”

Shi Luo closes his eyes and feels every wall, every emotion, everything falling down, falling back to Yu Sui all over again.

Shi Luo couldn’t help the overwhelming wave of emotions. He grits his teeth, trying to keep his tears in check but thinking of how Yu Sui kept his promise all those years, when Shi Luo thought he’d never have it in this life—Shi Luo feels like crashing. His tears drop one by one, unable to stop as each second Shi Luo remembers Yu Sui’s promises one by one.

He feels two arms on his waist, bringing him closer until he lands on a familiar chest. The scent of Yu Sui is enough to bring Shi Luo back yet he’s unable to keep his composure and he cries, even more than when his mother left him, even more than when he realized that no one wanted him in this world, even more than when Yu Sui left him behind without a word.

“I’m sorry,” Yu Sui whispers and Shi Luo feels a kiss on his forehead. The arms hugging him tightens before Yu Sui kisses the top of his head. “I’m sorry for being so late, Luo luo.”

“It’s me who owes you. It’s me who left you behind. It’s me who broke all the promises I made.” The rush of emotions make Shi Luo feel like choking and he hugs Yu Sui back, tight enough that Yu Sui won’t be able to get away, like Shi Luo was afraid of losing him again. “I already had everything planned but I—”

Shi Luo tightens his grip when he hears Yu Sui take a deep breath and the next words come out unsteady. “My parents got into an accident. Left behind debts to pay. I couldn’t think, I _didn’t_ think. I didn’t want you to see me miserable. I didn’t want to drag you down. I didn’t want to hurt you and worry you. I was in a bad state and I didn’t think about anything.”

“Chen Huo got fed up,” Yu Sui whispers. “For the first few months, I felt like I was floating away. It was Chen Huo who brought me back, asked me if I was going to stay like a shitty ghost.”

 _I wanted to be there_ , Shi Luo thinks as he buries his head further, chest tightening at the mere thought of Yu Sui being alone.

“He asked me if you deserve to be left behind without a word,” Yu Sui kisses him on the side of his face. “And I finally realized what I did. I left you behind and broke every promise I made.”

“Shi Luo, it’s all my fault. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to let you go, not then and not now.”

Shi Luo shakes his head. His hands clutch on to Yu Sui’s back, on the part where he knows a large dagger—where Yu Sui’s soulmark was.

“So when Puppy sent me a voice message, along with a link,” Shi Luo pauses and makes a mental note of getting Puppy’s head as a trophy. “I went even when I knew you would close the door to my face, even when I knew there was a possibility you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“Luo luo,” Yu Sui breathes in. Out. “For the past two years and even before then, there’s been no one else but you.”

In those few words, Shi Luo feels like Yu Sui catapulted him into the skies. It makes his heart _ache_ , thinking of nineteen year old Yu Sui, trying to build this apartment—this home, for both of them. He feels like the air in his lungs got knocked up and he can’t _breathe_ , can’t breathe at the emotions springing up, plunging, overflowing, like the dam breaking and Shi Luo does nothing to stop it.

He holds Yu Sui, like he’s afraid that if he loosens, Yu Sui might disappear.

He holds Yu Sui as if it’s the last thing he ever does.

He holds him and wishes, _desperately wishes_ , he could’ve done this two years ago.

“I knew,” Shi Luo finally says, after he finds his voice. It’s hoarse and small, like he’s trying his hardest to keep it together—which is probably the most accurate feeling right now. “I knew why you left.”

“How—”

“Chen Huo,” Shi Luo feels choked up, remembering the complex emotions he felt when Chen Huo told him. “The accident and your state back then, he told me.”

“That fucker.”

Shi Luo laughs amidst the pain he’s currently feeling. There’s so many things Shi Luo’s feeling right now—distressed for the nineteen year old Yu Sui, joy for the words Yu Sui said, sadness for the two years they’ve spent apart but when eliminating everything, what comes forward is the overwhelming feeling of being in love with Yu Sui.

“Back then, you were so good to me.” Shi Luo murmurs. “Did you do that on purpose?”

“Do what?”

“Be so good to me that I can’t wait to give you my whole life.” Shi Luo feels Yu Sui tighten his hold, like he’s also trying his hardest not to break his composure. “Be good to me that I can’t love anyone else in this life.”

Yu Sui laughs. It’s bright, free and full of happiness. It’s all Shi Luo ever wanted.

When Yu Sui pulls away, smiling at Shi Luo with visible fondness, gently cradling his cheeks and kissing him softly, kissing him on his forehead, on his eyes down to his nose, to his jaw and _finally_ , landing one on his lips; Shi Luo marvels on how Yu Sui tastes like _home._

* * *

“There’s something I always wanted to ask.”

“Hm?”

“My third soulmark. It’s a fire. What is it a representative of?”

Yu Sui laughs. “Who else but you?”

(Few weeks later, when Shi Luo strutted inside his grandfather’s birthday with Yu Sui in tow, shocking most of his relatives and his father, with a wild and rebellious expression, Yu Sui felt breathless.

He stares as Shi Luo meets them head-on, with the burning fire in his eyes and can’t help but kiss him breathless in the terrace, away from the prying eyes of people where he’s the only one who could enjoy the passion in his boyfriend’s eyes.

He kisses him on the eyes, smiling slightly. “My little fire.”

Shi Luo’s dazed expression and the redness of his cheeks are something Yu Sui would never get tired of. “Who’s your little fire?”

“Who else would it be?” Yu Sui kisses him again, again, again until they could forget about the world around them, until there’s nothing but their heartbeats beating together, until there’s nothing but Shi Luo and Yu Sui. “There’s been no one else but you.”

**Author's Note:**

> • there's like three scenes i was going to write (college shi luo studying with yu sui pestering him and making shi luo give up studying to kiss his boyfriend, the whole ending scene with shi luo grandfather's birthday and yu sui kissing shi luo in every room that made shi luo unhappy and shi luo being obsessed with yu sui's soulmark) BUT YES AS USUAL I GOT LAZY LMAOOOO you can clearly see from the ending  
> • absolutely experimental i have no idea what the fuck happened here so don't ask
> 
> come cry yushi/fog with me on twitter: @Ianweiran


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